Slightly irregular post but realizing something about trying new things and getting a little uncomfortable sometimes. You see, gymnastics has been something that I just did, I don't remember being afraid or not wanting to go out and try whatever my coach set up for me. I guess I had that childlike fearlessness when it came to that sport.
Flash back to May of 2011, and walking into VBC. Everything was intimidating and scary Kevin included. But I was now in my 40's and wanted to get better and stronger NOW before that long slow drop in bone density and old age started getting the best of me. I spent the year shuffling along on runs and trying to finally do a mile under 9:07. Each and every time I went to the gym I would be nervous. Sweaty palms, nervous stomach I even had to wait to have my morning coffee for fear it would come back to haunt me during the workout.
Then the thoughts of olympic weight lifting, kettle bells, and wall balls would come to mind and make me quake at the mere thought they might be in a workout longer that 15 minutes.
It has been a year of big ups and downs, I competed in my first CrossFit competition in November and placed 4th. I joined the competition phase of Kevin's great programming and I realized I was in the zone again. I came in on the prescribed days and trusted that the workouts would get me stronger, faster and better at all sorts if things. I had my first PR a 255lb Deadlift with the help of Nicole, who would set up the weights and just say "You Got It". I ran a mile tester in 7:23 and a 5K in 24:01. I thought "What the heck! This stuff works." I realized what the key was to my success. Overcoming the fear, Trusting the coaches and the programming. But if I am to be honest it really came down to wanting to get better, or maybe believing I could get better if I just just kept trying.
I was hit hard when I dislocated my shoulder in March 2012 on a 100# snatch that I had done quite well just the day before.Then I had surgery in April. Unable to workout at all for 8 weeks not even PT was the most difficult time for me. I realized then, that first and foremost this was a mental battle, I had to believe I would be back again. That once again I would be able to run jump and play ay VBC.
It got easier and easier to not workout, to just let things go, the daily routine changed and so was I and not for the better. Each and every movement was painful, sitting, sleeping, sneezing, showering, just putting my hair up impossible. Then came the big one. I am frightened!! Scared to bump it, hurt it, pop those anchors right out. PT is a three time a week, hour of pure pain, and not only physical but mental. I want to tap out to say ENOUGH IT HURTS! But I just can't. I lock down the pain breath deep and try to relax. My PT guy it twisting my arm in a move that resembles a WWF fighter take down and he says. "WOW, you really have a great attitude. I know you are going to come back just as strong as you were." That was my wake up call.
Skip to July 1st. It came to me. It's all in the attitude. Yeah I know so darn simple. I WILL get better stronger, faster each day that I show up and believe that I can. Yep, that's it. I know a million people have said this before, but it's true.
Each slow step I take towards healing I think. Oh yeah, last week I couldn't do this at all. Yep it sucks and I want to die cuz I am so slow and out of shape but I CAN DO IT. Maybe its modified or all together a crazy different workout just for me but I am at VBC. I am overcoming my fear, I am getting uncomfortable and putting in the effort.
So for all of you who are sweaty palmed thinking nah I can't do this workout, skill, lift etc. It's true, if you say you can't you are right. But maybe this time choose that you CAN do it. That's what I am going to do. Join me it'll be an adventure. That much I can be sure of!
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